Everything Can Go Wrong
by Izu3039
Summary: All the nations decide to come crash at that nation's whose name no one would remember—what was his name, Canadia?—home because America had suggested it and had hijacked the joint. What can go wrong in a night of fun? …if it turns into a week.
1. Chapter 1: Kitchen Fight

**A/N:** … I should stop making random chaptered fics on a small impulse… anyway I will pay more attention to Ghostwriter. This one is just something that just wouldn't leave my head no matter what I did. Anyway, it's light and so I will not be spending much time on this. Rather, just go with the flow of my crazy imagination and fingers. Enjoy!

This is slightly based on Full House which I wrote. But there are changes so rather than change to oneshot, I just started a different one.

**Rated T** for language.

**Pairings:** Uh… nothing for now, it's pretty much anyone x everyone as of now.

**Summary:** All the nations decide to come crash at that nation's whose name no one would remember—what was his name, Canadia?—home because America had suggested it and had hijacked the joint. What can go wrong in a night of fun? …if it turns into a week.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1: Kitchen Fight<strong>

Busy banging his head on a table, Canada did not pay any attention at all to the cluster of nations lounging around in his house, nor their arguments. Apparently they didn't even know who owned the house, and they wouldn't notice him anyway so he continued hitting his head, hoping he would go unconscious and not see what would happen.

Stupid America. That jerk had invaded his house and invited everyone in. And it wasn't even his house! Geez, though Canada looked like America, their houses were nothing alike!

Suddenly England strolled into the room chased by France.

"Get off already, bloody frog! Hell, I swear I'm going to rip out your entrails and stuff them down that dirty mouth of yours!" the Britain snarled while trying to shake off the other.

"_Angleterre_, you need to wash our your mouth, not mine, non? There is no way you can keep on saying such vulgar words and say you are a refined gentleman!" As an afterthought, he added, "I can teach you, mon cher. Instead of soap, I will use my beautiful mouth to cleanse you of your dirty language, _oui!_"

"Offer rejected." He turned around and kneed the other in the groin. Ignoring the grunt of pain, he turned around and noticed Canada standing there. Instantly his brow furrowed. "Bloody America, I thought you said you were getting refreshments, not bloody lazing around in you room!"

"Uh, I'm Can—" he replied until he was cut off.

"Get to work already, lazy git, I already have to deal with this frog!"

"—ada."

"Dammit America, don't you dare talk back to me! You were the one who bloody invited us here, now at least make our stay pleasant!"

"England, I'm not America!"

"Stop joking around and get to work already, or do I have to make you?" England had a menacing glare on his face.

Canada nervously gulped. "I-I'm CANADA!" He shouted.

Blankly, France and England stared. "Canadia? Never heard of that country before. Though I guess you don't look exactly like Alfred… are you his province? Oh wait, he has bloody states. Which one are you?"

"_Oui_. But _Angleterre,_ there is not a state called _Canadia_."

"Sh-shut up frog! I don't study Alfred's damn states like a stalker!"

"I'm not a state… I'm—"

"Bloody frog, get your hand off me before I break it."

"—Canada, you know that country—"

"_Angleterre_, don't hurt your best friend!"

"—above America that's really cold—"

"Since when was I your friend, frog? Okay that's it, I'm breaking it on a count of three."

"—and we have a lot of maple syrup and pancakes, and the—"

"_Oui, oui_, you are much too violent. Better now, _non_?"

"—sport we always play is hockey—"

"Much. Now keep it that way." Suddenly something clicked in his brain, and England spun around to face Canada. "Wait… hockey, trees, cold, and that bear in the corner, you're _CANADA_?" he asked with a sudden realization.

"Meep! Uh, yes… I'm Canada, America's twin brother… you took care of me when France gave me to you?" he answered meekly.

The Frenchman gaped in shock. "_Mon dieu!_ It's _Mathieu_! Why didn't you tell us? We thought you were Alfred, _mon cher_!"

"I did, eh. You guys thought I was Canadia…" he trailed off.

His former father figures both were embarrassed at their mistake, England openly blushing and looking away and France scratching his hair with a fake grin on his face. "Sorry, Canadia, it's just that… Al—America seems to be a lot more… noisy?" the Brit supplied.

"It's Canada, mon cher," France corrected.

Said nation sighed and resumed hitting his head when the two quarreling nations started to argue, leaving the room and slamming the door shut. He was about to just drop onto his bed to try to ignore all the noise outside, but then suddenly his door fell down, two very eager nations on top of it.

"Mattie!"

"Birdie!"

He turned his head and widened his eyes at the sight. Prussia and America were both on the floor after knocking down the door. They glared at each other and started to squabble. Canada felt like facepalming, but mustered enough self-control to only mentally do it.

"Damn it, evil albino—don't cheat to try to get to Mattie's room first!"

"Bullshit! I definitely got here first legitimately, stupid asshole."

"Now you're bullshitting! We got here at the same time, but you cheated!"

"Speak for yourself, damn American pig! Right Birdie!" The ex-nation turned over to Canada, who was now sweatdropping.

"Uh—I-I erm, who cheated?"

"He did!" Both nations (well, one wasn't anymore) pointed at each other with a glare. If he wasn't so stressed out, he would have laughed at the situation. Both were acting like kindergarteners blaming each other for breaking the teacher's favorite vase. In this case, the door.

"Shut up, egotistical bastard who just wants to kidnap Mattie!"

"Right back at you, lardass."

"Hypocrite who can't even stay a nation."

"At least I don't forget my brother's name, shithead!" the albino snapped. The room went silent, until America finally stormed out, almost tripping over the door. "Sheesh, your brother is such a dickhead, right Birdie?"

The Canadian was slightly confused, but he muttered, "You as well, Gilbert, you as well."

Prussia pouted. "Aw, but I'm awesome!"

"That you are, that you are. You're an arrogant and awesome prick. Let's go down before Alfred breaks my house," he offered, slightly happier that his German friend had come though uninvited.

He pumped his fist high in the air. "Awesome! The awesomest pair will now make its way downstairs!" He ran up ahead hollering, while Canada lifted a hand to his face with a loud smack, hiding a small smile at the ex-nation's antics.

* * *

><p>Downstairs Canada was slightly glad that Japan and German had apparently gotten things into a semblance of order. While some nations were being creepy as usual, most were seated on either cushions, the sofa, chairs, or cardboard boxes used as impromptu chairs.<p>

"Ve~ Doitsu, are we going to play a game? I love games!" The happy Italian asked.

"Uh… yes we are?" the German replied.

"Ahem. Attention nations, after America-san invited us to C-ca-ce—"

"It's Canada," said nation helpfully supplied.

"Yes, Canada-san's house, we have reached a consensus that we will be hosting a few organized games. And we have compiled a list between America-san, Doitsu-san, and I." The Asian nation pulled out a scroll from nowhere and opened it. There was a long list of Japanese that no one could understand, but assumed was Japan's list of activities. "And first on the list is… kitchen fight it seems. It was America's idea."

Someone muttered, "Figures."

Italy piped up, "Ve, but isn't that a food fight?"

"No Italia-san, you can use food but it will be a kitchen fight. You can use anything from the kitchen or relating to the kitchen as a weapon. No sharp objects please. Last person standing wins the round."

"Will there be prizes?" Norway asked while glaring at Denmark.

"Mmm, yes, there will be. I think… the first prize is to dare anyone you like to make out with anyone else. Including yourself if you have a secret crush…"

"HOLY SHIT! THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY I'M MAKING OUT WITH ANY BASTARD!" Romano screamed while trying to escape Spain's hugs.

"Fratello, if the winner doesn't make you do it then you don't have to, ve."

"Uh, dang Kiku. That was first? Well, we know for sure we can't let Hungary or France win. Or Russia. That creepy commie bastard," America remarked.

Despite how he said it as an insult, the room suddenly became quite as everyone glanced around at the three aforementioned people. Hungary looked like she was on the verge or either pulling out her frying pan or her camera, France's hand were twitched with a sinister grin on his face, and Russia was being even more creepy than usual. Despite the American's inability to read the atmosphere, everyone knew he hit the nail on the head.

Uncomfortable with the silence and threatening aura, Japan coughed a bit and spoke up again. "And, now, everyone please get something and show it to Doitsu-san or I. If we accept it, please stand by. If you do not wish to participate or the item you wish to use is deemed unacceptable, then stay to the sidelines."

There was utter chaos as nations either got their own items from handy knapsacks or raided the Canadian's kitchen. Japan and Germany were crowded with screaming people waving around random objects.

Japan was very busy. "Let's see, Belgium-san? That's a ladle, right? Okay, please wait. No Switzerland-san, no guns, gomenasai. You don't want to participate without a gun? Well then you can take Liechtenstein and wait nearby. Greece-san, I don't think cats are food. Austria-san, that's a piano key, has nothing to do with a kitchen… oh, Hungary-san?" The two nations had a whispered conversation, and the Asian's face burned red as the girl smiled. "Uh, your weapon is a frying pan, right? Please stand by."

Meanwhile, Germany had it worse. He had managed to get the psychopaths to flock to him. "Uh… Russia… how is a pipe kitchen-related?"

"I got it from Matvey's kitchen sink, da?"

"Mmm, pass? Er, Italy, is that a pot you're holding? For pasta? You're supposed to hit people with it… and Canadia? Oh, sorry. Canada, you're using a spatula? Okay. And, Romano, what are you…"

"Tomato bastard and I are using rotten tomatoes," he stated.

"Okaaay… France is going to use… no touching people France! You cannot participate! Er, China, I think your wok is good but don't kill anyone with it. And Be-belarus? No, no, we already said you can't use sharp objects! No you can't use Russia as a weapon! Please! Offer something reasonable!" The normally strong nation wanted to hide in a closet and never come out. These nations were driving him crazy.

Finally, after a long grueling fifteen minutes, everyone had gotten a suitable weapon, and the people standing by were Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Austria, Greece, Iceland, and Norway. Belarus wasn't really standing, she had to be restricted to stop her from killing anyone. Japan and Germany were watching from the sidelines as well, keeping a close eye on the battlefield which was the kitchen.

* * *

><p>It was chaos. Hungary and China were wiping out the rest of the competitors, but Romano mass throwing nasty rotten tomatoes trying to preserve his chastity was also someone not to mess with. Soon there was a standoff between Hungary and China. Romano had long escaped, but hid behind a corner to help the Chinese man if needed, since there was no way he'd let Hungary win.<p>

All three of them needed to make sure they were the last ones standing to prevent sneak attacks. As they were all in a standstill, they tried to remember who had been knocked out. China felt something nagging at him. There was someone he had forgotten to attack, because Hungary had distracted him before he could hit said nation.

And to all of their surprise, that very nation who he forgot about popped out. "Hm, I wonder what's going on here, well, at least my scones have been finished." They gaped in shock as Romano fell from his hiding place and onto the floor. Carefully pulling a tray of… burnt stuff, England cheerily asked them, "Would anyone like to try my scones? I think they're made better than usual today. Canada has a very nice kitchen."

The cookbook he held in one hand was either upside down or in some strange language Romano did not know. He swore that was a magic circle on the cover and not a picture of a cookie. There were two conclusions he came to: one- England had burnt those… scones… with his magic and honestly wanted to feed them, or two- he snuck that magic book in, pretending it was a cookbook.

Nervously he gulped, and his Italian survival skills kicked in. Pulling something very Veneziano-like, he started to babble. "Chigi! I'm sorry I stole your tea set and broke them over Spain's head! I swear it was an accident! The bastard was being annoying! Oh, and I'm also sorry about the water balloons last week! It wasn't America! It was me! Don't kill me!" He dashed out of the kitchen waving a white flag and holding his nose.

Utterly confused, England did not catch a word of South Italy's apologies. However, at this point China had made his escape as well, and Hungary was eyeing the food warily. Did she dare try it? For the sake of yaoi… At this point the open window blew a whiff of the smell over to her nose, and she felt like gagging. Running out of the room she had to hold her mouth to stop from vomiting.

The very bemused Englishman stood in the kitchen in shock while Japan carefully entered the room with a surgical mask. "Igirisu-san, please throw your weapon away in the trash now, and come out to claim you prize."

"What, these scones? These were by no means my weapon, they were meant as a—"

"Just do it, please Arthur-san?"

He rarely called nations by their human names, so England unwillingly trashed the food. Sighing in relief, the Asian took off the mask and pulled the other out.

"And now for your prize, who you do want to kiss whom?" he asked, scanning the room full of people.

About half of the people were shooting glares, such as Romano and Switzerland. A couple others seemed terrified, while a select few were laughing about it. Namely the Bad Touch Trio. Even Alfred looked uneasy.

Deciding that selecting someone already a couple would be the easiest and wisest course for him to take, he cleared his throat and announced, "Hungary and Austria? You two are married, right?"

Prussia, Austria, and Hungary all gagged at the same time.

"Fuck off, England!"

"I'm not doing it."

"WHAT?"

"Okay, so there's something bitter going on here… right?" he dumbly asked. None of them answered. Oh well. Time for the next best then, the obvious but unofficial couples, right? He would have just paired off the BTT but if he let Spain kiss anyone, Romano would kill him. He did not feel cruel enough to let anyone suffer by France's hands, and Prussia was out of the question. Unless it was Austria or Germany, but then that would be probably the only peeple Prussia wouldn't be willing to make out with. ("Dude, incest is gross, man!")

"Er, Germany and Italy?" Most of the other nations let out a sigh of relief. However, a few were acting up.

Hungary squealed and started whispering things to Japan. Who in turn pulled out a camera. Romano was shouting something while Spain was trying to hold him still. As for the couple themselves…

"Veeeeeee? I have to kiss Doitsu?"

"_MEIN GOTT_ ENGLAND!"

"Ah, Doitsu-san, but it was in the rules…"

"Ve~ okay!" Before anyone could blink the Italian and given a light peck on Germany's lips and had jumped back before anyone could take a picture. "Ve~ that wasn't so hard, right Doitsu?"

"Noooo! Italy, do it again! And longer!" Hungary was crying in disappointment. However, the German had stomped off and locked himself in Canada's closet, which unluckily for him held most of his maple syrup and brooms, which he would most likely need by the end of the day.

"Waaah! Is Doitsu mad at me?" Italy had started crying. Which in turn made Romano even more mad, and soon he had escaped Spain and was banging on the closet door and screaming obscenities in Italian.

England facepalmed. "What have I done?" he muttered to himself. Unknown to him, Canada had facepalmed the exact moment he did.

This was going to be a long week.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Head-canon is that nations call each other by human name if they are close... i.e. Prussia and America calling Canada Matthew. And the little stunt Japan played on England.

And, crappy ending much. XD It's late is once again my excuse, but brain cells do not work well at this time. Enjoy! Reviews bring cookies and happiness and new chapters!


	2. Chapter 2: Hide and Seek

A/N: I got too many ideas… and plus the wind kinda knocked out my internet. So I could not read any fanfiction nor play on my games. FML. At least I got to skip school and work on my own fanfics. Read and review the product of my boredom and misfortune! If it seems bad, it's because this is something I have written just to let go of these crazy ideas in my head, and any OOCness is just failure on my part. I just hope someone reads this and laughs. :)

**Rated T** for language and shounen ai.

**Pairings:** Uh… nothing for now, it's pretty much anyone x everyone as of now. For now. *coughs* Because there will be eventual pairings.

**Summary:** All the nations decide to come crash at that nation's whose name no one would remember—what was his name, Canadia?—home because America had suggested it and had hijacked the joint. What can go wrong in a night of fun? …if it turns into a week.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2: Hide-And-Seek<strong>

All the nations were crowded around a single closet door, which was conveniently reinforced very well. All the nations sans Germany, because he was the one _in_ the closet.

"Ah… Doitsu-san? Come out please?"

"Go away, Japan."

"Can you come out of my closet? …please? It's my home!"

"Go away… uh…"

"Canada."

"Um, yes. Go away please Canada, and sorry. But go away."

"_Westen_! Why won't you come out of the closet? I can help you, _bruder_! Who cares what your boss will say when he finds out you're gayer than a rainbow?"

"…I'm not talking to you _bruder_."

"You just did, kesesese!"

"…"

"Fine. _Bruder_, but this is Birdie's house, at least run home to our house and never come out of the closet."

"…"

"_Verdamnt_! You're really not answering the awesomeness? Fuck that, Westen!"

"GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CLOSET SO I CAN TORTURE YOU, YOU FUCKING POTATO BASTARD!"

"Lovi, don't say bad things!"

"Ve, Doitsu? I'm sorry! Waaaah! Don't kill me! But come out of there! I'm sorry for using your beer to make pasta, ve! There wasn't any water left! And for making white flags out of your socks! And for…" the Italian continued rambling while everyone else sighed.

"Veneziano, you did those things?"

"Ve, yes! Waaah, don't kill me! I'm still too young to die!"

"…I'm still not coming out. Goodbye, go play your games while I… uh…"

"Do questionable things in the closet?"

"I thought I took all your bondage porn, but oh well. Kesesese, go masturbate in the closet."

"Uh, Gilbert, you know all my maple syrup is in there?"

Prussia stared blankly at him for a moment. A second later, he joined Romano in banging and screaming at the closet door. "BRUDER GET OUT! I DON'T THINK I CAN EAT PANCAKES ANYMORE WITHOUT THINKING OF SYRUP AS LUBRICANT!"

Canada covered his ears so no more disturbing images came to his mind for the uses of maple syrup.

"Canadia, why is your door reinforced so well?"

"Eh… because I didn't want Prussia to steal all of my maple syrup. And it's Canada."

The bear in his arms looked up and asked, "Who are you?"

The nations then turned away from the door and stared at Canada.

"Holy shit, the bear can talk?"

"I'm Canada…" the nation answered.

* * *

><p>After everyone gave up on screaming or trying to persuade the German out of the closet, Japan finally got the room the pay attention to him with the help of Arthur with his… cookbook spellbook/ weapon-of-mass-destruction-book.

"Since Doitsu-san is… having difficulties coming out of the closet—"

"Fuck yes, bruder is a prude!"

"—uh, yes, closet, we have decided to start the round without him. So to help me, I will get Hungary-san to be referee as well to replease Doitsu-san."

"Hello!" the brunette grinned and waved her hands around. Prussia refrained from saying anything because she was holding her frying pan in her left hand menacingly despite her smile.

"And this round will be hide-and-seek. When someone is found, they will help 'it' to find the others as well. If everyone is found within thirty minutes, 'it' wins, and if he takes over thirty minutes, the last nation to be found wins. And the prize for this game's winner is…" the Asian stared at the paper in his hands and almost choked.

Hungary snatched the paper from him and read it out. "Gets to punch someone the amount of year's he's lived, or less if he wants to if his fist starts hurting."

"Hai… if you have a grudge?" Japan supplied, uncomfortable with this violence.

"Damn, who suggested that Kiku?" America asked.

The closet spoke up and said, "America, that would be me when angry at bruder."

"…oh," was all the American could say.

"Aiya… if they chose me that would be 4000 years so 4000 punches!" China complained.

"Don't worry Yao-Yao, I will protect you, da?" Russia said while scooting closer to the Asian, while the other tried to shrink away.

"Who is 'it', ve?" Italy asked.

"Ah… to make things fair it will be Igirisu-san. Because he won last round. Is that okay, Arthur-san?"

Again with the name calling, the nation could not do anything but reply in the affirmative.

"Okay, count to one hundred. Everyone else, find a hiding spot within Canada-san's house—you are not allowed to hide outside this building. Hungary-san and I will follow you and keep track of everyone you find, hai?"

England nodded and turned around, muttering numbers as everyone scrambled to hide in Canada's house. Thankfully, it was quite large, being the houe of the second-largest nation in the world.

* * *

><p>When he finally reached 100, he turned around from staring at the corner to find Canada and Italy standing right before him. "<p>

"Ah… you might need help finding them so we decided to stay behind and help you."

"Ve, Matteo and I want to help! Just don't punch us!" the Italian bounced.

Japan nodded and scribbled in a notebook. Hungary peeked over his shoulder and saw, "Igirisu has found: Italia, Canada (They are very noble. Good doujinshi ideas.)"

Touched, the older nation slapped both of them on their backs and smiled, "Thanks, lads. Let's go find them!"

Cheering, Italy sped up ahead while peeking under the strangest places, such as the fridge and a table while the other two nations hurried to catch up to make sure he didn't do something stupid. Japan and Hungary shared a sly smile and followed them.

* * *

><p>In ten minutes, they had already searched everywhere noticeable, and had only found Austria so far because he was playing a piano. The owner of the house was confused as to where everyone could have hidden.<p>

"Where did everyone bloody go?" the Englishman muttered. Suddenly Austria, who was nonchalantly following them, got a text. Hungary snatched the phone out of the pocket and glared, furiously typing back something.

"Damn it, that Prussia! He said you'll never find him!" she said through clenched teeth.

Canada suddenly had an idea. "Hey England…"

"Canada?"

Sighing in relief that he wasn't forgotten, mistaken for America, or called Canadia, he offered, "Try calling America. He has an obnoxiously loud ringtone and carries his phone everywhere."

Furrowing his brows, England realized the wisdom in the other's statement and took out his phone. Quickly pressing a button, they heard a dial tone.

"Dad, why do you have America's number first on speed dial?" Canada questioned.

"Uh, that is… not your business," he coughed with a tinge of pink on his cheeks. "It's just that the United States and the United Kingdom have—good trade relations nowadays."

Raising an eyebrow, Canada was about to speak until they heard a rap version of "Oh Say Can You See" playing very loudly. Coming from above them. England's eyes were twitching at the song, but he widened his eyes in shock at the sight above them. America was hanging onto a chandelier wearing a Spiderman suit.

Japan scribbled into his notebook while Canada remarked, "I don't remember that being there."

* * *

><p>Unsurprisingly, many of the nations were too scatterbrained to remember to turn off their cellphones. They left their phones on their person and did not turn them off or silent. The search party managed to clear out many of them within five minutes by splitting up and calling phones. By now they had gone through all the phone numbers, and there were still some people hidden.<p>

By now, they were stumped by the remaining people. These nations were more creative than they were given credit for. Many of their hiding places were insane. Multiple people had tried hiding by attaching themselves onto the ceiling. In fact, China had been secretly following them unnoticed the whole time until his phone started playing some strange tune.

There was only Spain, Prussia, Finland, Romano, Lithuania, and Switzerland left. The found nations were being useless in helping, as they were bickering among themselves, so there was really only Canada and Italy still helping England. He narrowed his eyes since he was surprised how Romano's and Switzerland's tempers haven't given them out yet. He also figured that Spain would be with Romano since the current trend was that some nations hid in groups, so it would be worth a shot.

Swallowing and giving Italy a silent apology, he made his way over to where France was molesting China and getting glared at by Russia. "Frog, Italy is feeling lonely since he can't find his brother or Germany."

He looked up and let China slip away. Disappointed, he tossed his hair and asked, "Angleterre needs my help?"

"No frog, Italy does." Currently he was talking to Canada about the wonders of pasta with a sad look on his face because apparently Canada didn't share his love for pasta. However, it could pass for loneliness, and England sighed in relief that his lie might work.

"Ohonhon! Brother France will go to comfort Italy!" The Frenchman swayed his hips and started to walk over to the nation. Wrinkling his nose in disgust, the Brit followed him hoping that Romano might decide to pop up just about… now.

"FUCKING WINE BASTARD! DON'T YOU DARE GO NEAR FRATELLO!"

To everyone surprise, the lid of the ventilation system on the ceiling popped off and an angry Italian fell through, followed by the worried face of the Spaniard.

That was two birds with one stone. Chuckling as Romano beat up France and that he had found two nations, England grinned a bit scarily.

"Mr. England?" He looked down and saw cute green eyes staring back at him. "Can I play with Sealand? I think he's lonely."

England snorted and said, "Peter? Sure you can, but don't let him hurt you! It's not gentlemanly, so tell me or your brother if he does!"

With a short twirl of her dress, Liechtenstein walked off. But then when England smiled and turned back forward, there was the mouth of a rifle in his face. Startled, he stepped back and tripped over a table.

"You. Let. Liechtenstein. Play with that damn clone of yours?" an angry Switzerland snarled.

"Uh…" he struggled to find an answer. At least he technically found someone, though he didn't know where the guy hid. "Oh, you should go check on them in case Peter is being too rough."

Widening his eyes, the blond nation stormed off towards the pair with the gun in hand. _Hopefully Sealand doesn't get murdered,_ England thought.

Italy had now reappeared by England's side. "Ve, if I help you win you won't kill me?"

England grinned back and startled the Italian, who was slightly afraid of him. "No problem with that, lad. I know exactly who I want to kill."

"Ve, don't hurt France-nii too much!" he squeaked, afraid for his fellow nation's life.

This time England stared in shock. "Italy, you can read the atmosphere? Since when?"

"Ve? But there's no book?" the confused Italian replied.

Any surprise left on his face, and he chuckled. "So you didn't, nevermind." England swept his eyes over the crowd of nations for Canada, but he didn't find the boy anywhere. Puzzled, he asked, "Italy, where did Canadia go?"

"Canada? Ve, I think he went to find Prussia-nii," he said.

England widened his eyes. The ex-nation was the master of pranks. It might take forever to find him, and he might still need Canada's help. Quickly grabbing onto Italy's hand and pulling him along, they scoured the house for the Canadian.

* * *

><p>When they reached Canada's room, they saw Canada yelling at a toilet. "Gilbert! I know my house, I would know if there was a toilet where there isn't supposed to be one!"<p>

The toilet did not answer. Italy rushed up and looked at the toilet. However, he noticed there was another one nearby, so there were two toilets in one bathroom.

"Ve?" He looked questioningly at Canada.

Said nation facepalmed and said, "That one on the right is Prussia, he just won't admit it."

England by now had also appeared in the bathroom. He kicked the toilet but it didn't budge. Frowning, he took at a look at the bottom and found out it was glued cleverly like a normal toilet would. He then tried kicked the other one, the one Canada said was the real toilet, and he got the same result. "Lad, are you sure one of them is Prussia? They seem real."

He sighed and replied, "Of course one is Prussia, Dad. Who puts two toilets in one room?"

The logic was irrefutable, and England stared at the object harder. It seemed to be large enough to hold someone if the inside was completely hollow. He then tried to pry off the lid. It was glued as well, unlike a normal toilet.

Italy was singing something in Italian, completely forgetting what he was there for. Canada had mysteriously disappeared, only to reappear with something. On closer inspection, it was a canary. "Gilbert, I'm going to feed Gilbird to Belarus's cat if you do—"

The toilet… exploded, and the albino nation snatched the little bird away. "Fuck! Birdie, you wouldn't."

Canada smiled and said, "I wouldn't, because I knew it would work."

The other pouted and said, "Not fair, blackmail doesn't count."

* * *

><p>Feeling he was intruding on a private moment, England backed out of the bathroom and started to search for the last two rather peaceful nations. He was looking forward to beating up France, but he figured Finland and Lithuania didn't seem like people who held a grudge or were mischievous. If worse came to worst and he did not win, at least they wouldn't hurt anyone. However, no matter what he did, he couldn't find them. It was an hour later when he finally figured out why.<p>

They had ignored the game completely and went shopping together for Christmas presents at a nearby store… and technically went out Matthew's house so they were disqualified. Since technically the last one left was Prussia in the cardboard toilet and Canada had found him, England had gotten them all in twenty-five minutes. Frustrated that he had wasted an extra thirty minutes of trying to find the last two nations, he released all his anger on France, who was near dead when he finally finished.

Maybe this nonsense wasn't that stupid.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I love England, and murdering France. XD I don't hate him, he's just very fun to beat up with other nations. Sorry if it's Canada's house yet this chapter was England-centric, and that he won two games in a row. Don't worry, next round it will be different and England will not win.

Did you catch any hints of pairings here? Note not all of them will be the end outcome, but just randomness thrown in here.

The slight Japan calling England by Arthur can be read as affection (though I believe they are and can be great friends or lovers), but really it's just something to make England do what he wants. Because he and Hungary are planning things…

And I know I overused the Canadia joke, but it just found its way in there.

Oneliners (though I included the ones which had names as well because… it's easier that way)

Japan

Germany

Canada

Germany

Canada

Germany

Prussia

Germany

Prussia

Silence

Prussia

Silence

Prussia

Romano

Spain

Italy

Germany

Italy

Germany

England

Prussia

Canada

Prussia

England

Canada

Kumajirou

Romano

Canada

…that's a lot.

Anyway, review for more chapters! :) Because I was just so bored I ended up writing two of these… any slowness in uploading is either school, internet, or angry parents. Fanfiction is not good for school. If anyone reading this also reads ghostwriter, expect another chapter soon, since I finished. All I have to do is find time to edit and upload. x.x


	3. Chapter 3: Scavenger Hunt

A/N: Flurb. Written right after chapter 2 due to boredom, since as of start internet's still down.

Warning: There's PruCan fluff in here. And the poem makes no sense at all. No, not even to me, but I am a terrible writer. Sorry.

**Rated T** for language and shounen ai.

**Pairings:** Uh… nothing for now, it's pretty much anyone x everyone as of now. For now. *coughs* Because there will be eventual pairings. PruCan has been decided on.

**Summary:** All the nations decide to come crash at that nation's whose name no one would remember—what was his name, Canadia?—home because America had suggested it and had hijacked the joint. What can go wrong in a night of fun? …if it turns into a week.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter 3: Scavenger Hunt<span>**

France was busy nursing himself in a corner, as England had released all of his anger on him and was in a considerably good mood.

Japan had already gone over the next game with Hungary, and the female nation was giddy with excitement. Austria had secretly slinked away, afraid of what his former wife was up to. As of now he was squabbling with Switzerland over the bad economy, while Liechtenstein was sitting uncomfortably between them.

On that note, England noticed that Sealand seemed unharmed… just rather traumatized and shaking in a corner like Raivis did. He also did not want to think about where the missing owner of the house went, since apparently Prussia was not in sight either. Scanning the room where the nations were lounging and dreading the next game they got pulled into, he noticed that Romano was nowhere either, and that Spain was rather depressed in the corner opposite of Francis.

However, America popped out of nowhere and ruined his happiness after he had just almost murdered France. Scowling, he snapped, "And what business do you have, _sir_?"

His sarcasm was returned with a "Nothing, _mom._ Where's my bro?"

Seething at the mom remark, the Brit spat, "I don't know, _love,_ I think he was having a nice conversation with Mr. Beilschmidt."

The American cocked an eyebrow and said, "But Germany's still in the closet. He didn't come out yet, and I don't think Mattie went in either." Looking at the annoyed expression on the other's face, he realized what the other meant. "Oh. _Oh._ Prussia, right?" His lips formed a tight line and he stormed off to look for them.

England muttered, "What got his panties in a twist?"

* * *

><p>Hungary had threatened everyone with her frying pan, and Japan was reading off his scroll again. America was back, but apparently he didn't find the other two nor Romano since there wasn't hide nor hair of the missing trio there.<p>

"Nations, this next round is a scavenger hunt. There is a list of objects to be found here." Japan pulled out yet another scroll that he did not unroll yet. "However, there is one catch." A murmur went throughout the crowds, but it was ignored. "You do not take the item: you must take one of these disposable cameras and take a picture of it." Hungary patted a container beside her, presumably full of cameras.

She then spoke up and let Japan take a rest. "Hm, these are not ordinary things you are looking for. Anyway, let's start! The prize for this round is…" she paused for dramatic effect while all the other nations fidgeted in their seats. "—you get to keep all the pictures you take, since some of these are actually great blackma—I mean, souvenirs. The second part is you get to order the people who got the least pictures taken to do one thing, with certain restrictions that I do not feel like naming right now. We'll figure it out later. Oh, and no one, except… select people, are allowed to sit out of this game!"

She flashed a very bright smile while tightening her grip on her frying pan. "Hm, I guess me, Japan, Germany, South Italy, Prussia, Austria, and Canada don't have to." There were shouts of disapproval but they were ignored. Austria sighed in relief and straightened his collar.

Japan then added something. "You may work together in groups or alone, whichever suits your tastes, but the prize should be decided amongst yourselves about how to split it. Also, no stealing cameras or taking pictures of other people's pictures but you are allowed to follow someone secretly. If whatever you take a picture of is not one of the intended objects, you will be rejected. You have to find all six items and bring your camera to Hungary-san, Austria-san, and I. Well then everyone ready?"

All of them scrambled to get a camera from the bin, and Hungary distributed a small scroll to all of them. "This has what you're looking for, have fun!" She winked and then whispered to Japan something inaudibly.

Austria stared at the list of answers Hungary had given him. He knew it; he wouldn't have been allowed to sit out without a catch. At least he didn't have a risk of losing.

* * *

><p>America frowned. There were only a few items on this list written in rhymes but none of them made sense.<p>

_The winter plant that never grows_

_Page sixty-eight of daily prose_

_A happy moment captured still_

_Where inside it's a definite chill_

_Dressed up anger out for blood_

_Careful work mingled with mud_

Confused, he really needed help, so he walked over to where England was scrunching his eyes at his paper. "Hey Iggy, do you get this stuff?"

The older nation frowned and he looked up. "Of course not America, or else I would have gotten started already." No one else seemed to understand the poem either from what the two could see.

America offered, "Let's work together, c'mon, please?"

England snorted back, but accepted. "You should do your own work, America, but I guess sparing an idiot might lighten my conscience."

The American pouted and replied, "Hey! You don't know it either!"

He dismissed him with a wave of his hand. "Let's get started already. What's this, the first one is a winter plant that never grows? Sounds like some kind of stunted plant."

* * *

><p>While the two English-speaking nations were arguing over what the words meant, Estonia and Lithuania were looking over at them and actually contemplating what they spat out.<p>

"Hm, stunted? That sounds right. But winter plant?" the Estonian said.

"Uh, maybe the plant's plastic? That doesn't really grow," Lithuania offered.

The other thought for a bit and said, "Maybe. It could work. I don't really get the winter plant part. Is it a pine tree? This guy only has maple trees here though it's pretty cold. So it's a plastic maple tree?"

The brunet chuckled at the thought. "Pine trees are used for Christmas! And Christmas is winter. So what other plants are used during Christmas?"

Estonia frowned. "Holly. Mistletoe?"

Lithuania suddenly got up and widened his eyes. "Let's look around for them!" The other nations were too occupied with themselves to notice the two nations slip out and look around the house.

They did not find any mistletoe. However, they were elated upon coming across a pot of poinsettias. After trying to tear off a leaf, Estonia concluded it really was plastic and fake. Giddy that they had found one answer, they set to work on the next one.

* * *

><p>By now England and America had given up on trying to figure them out. "Bloody hell, what is this nonsense? I swear Japan's more crafty than he looks!" the Englishman swore.<p>

America just walked away. Before he could get any further, England had stopped him. "Where the bloody hell are you going, lad?"

His former charge said nonchalantly, "For food."

The older nation widened his eyes in realization. "The fridge!" He rushed out, not caring if the other nations noticed them making a spectacle. America followed him, as well as a few other freeloading nations. Excited, he pointed to the refrigerator. "It's simple! Right under our noses. Where it's cold inside is a fridge!"

America blinked and stood there. Sighing, the Englishman took out his camera and snapped a picture. "Bloody hell, wake up America." He then slapped the larger nation on his back, eliciting an "ouch!" At least they had found one.

* * *

><p>Estonia flipped through what they had. A "happy moment captured still" was simply a photograph. Where they were happy. All he had to do was find a picture of someone smiling, and took a picture of it, not caring who was on it. It was actually easy, there weren't many pictures in the Canadian's house.<p>

Lithuania smiled a bit. "We have three already, since America and England were a bit loud when they found out the fridge one."

"Hm. This daily prose thing I don't really get. Are we supposed to flip through every book in the house for it? And how do we know what's daily?"

Shrugging, the Lithuanian moved to go up the stairs. Wordlessly the Estonian followed.

They had arrived in what seemed to be Canada's bedroom. There was a bookcase sitting in a corner, and both of them set to work looking through the covers to see if anything hit them. "Daily prose, I really don't get this," Estonia mumbled.

"Mr. America's brother is neat at least. Mr. America himself is very messy, even the old stuff he kept from England." Lithuania spoke up. He suddenly got an idea. "I don't think the book would be in this room. Mr. America keeps all of his important things in a separate room."

Estonia frowned. "Well, we could try. But I don't see where else we would go."

"To the attic?"

They made their way to the attic. Estonia knew where it was from last round's game, he had considered hiding in there but he decided to go for hiding in a book cupboard earlier. He stopped in his tracks. "Wait, a book cupboard?"

Lithuania looked at him questioningly. He rushed off back towards Canada's room. Confused, the brunet followed his friend towards their original search spot. He stopped and stared at a cupboard right before they reached to room.

Inside they found more books, and most of them were dusty and haven't been touched in some time. "More books? I don't see how this would help. I think we just got more books to search through," Lithuania offered.

Estonia gave a small smile and pulled out one book. It was rather worn out, and on the cover written in Sharpie was "Diary."

His friend grinned and said, "You would write in a diary daily! At least whoever owns it did until it got full." It was true, the pages were filled completely to the edge up until the very last page.

The Estonian flipped through the pages until he reached 68. They both took a picture. However, Estonia was feeling a bit devious at the moment. "I say we hide the book away for good measure. No one else can find it until we're done! We'll put it back later."

Lithuania felt it wasn't very nice, but relented since it was only a game… right?

* * *

><p>From the shadows Japan almost choked and fell out of his hiding place. Hungary caught him and furiously pat his back. "Well, it wasn't against the rules to hide something. Oh well, it's alright, they're nice people so nothing bad will happen!"<p>

Still having a bit of a bad conscience, Japan uneasily came out and both started to follow the pair that had the most progress so far.

* * *

><p>They were both treading silently until they heard a noise. Confused, Estonia turned to his partner and asked, "Was that me?"<p>

Lithuania shook his head and had a frightened expression on his face. "What was that?"

Japan and Hungary stuck closer to the shadows in case they noticed them. However, this time the noise came again and was louder. Lithuania jumped and suddenly bumped against a light switch. To his surprise, a door they did not notice suddenly had light coming out from under it. Estonia walked over and put his ear to the door. There was more noises from inside, and he carefully turned the knob. Inside the room there was another door and nothing else. After going through that door, they ended up in another empty room with one door. Confused as to why there could be so many doors, they continued through the last one, the noises now getting louder and louder.

"FUCK THAT POTATO BASTARD! LET ME GO! FUCKING RUNS IN THE FAMILY!"

Lithuania's jaw dropped at the sight of the missing Italian screaming while being held down by two people. The other missing couple. Canada was holding onto the yelling nation's arm for dear life, and Prussia was cackling at Romano's cursing. The real shock was that South Italy was dressed in a maid costume.

Estonia quickly dragged his awestruck friend out and slammed the door. "That was a sight."

"… I saw Mr. America's brother. Is that where they went?"

The other nodded. Suddenly he looked down at his paper and a thought struck him. "He was dressed up, right? Dressed up in that… costume?"

Lithuania nodded, not getting the connection until Estonia pointed towards #5. Widening his eyes, they had a silent conversation with their eyes before they both took out their cameras and chanced the door again. Quickly snapping a shot and ignoring the Italian's pleas (curses) for help, they ran holding their breaths out through the continuous sets of door before the finally dared to breathe again.

"That's five."

"Yep," Lithuania smiled.

Japan scribbled in his notebook, "Lithuania-san isn't as caring as I thought he was… but still pretty nice." Hungary stifled a laugh. Austria was probably bored to death since no one would be finding anything nearly as fast as this unexpected pair.

* * *

><p>The last one stumped them. Hard work and mud did not usually go anywhere together unless it was construction work. Deciding to try something, Lithuania scoured Canada's room again, and on his desk found a few papers stained with coffee or something like that. It was apparently government paperwork, and he gave a silent prayer to America's brother that he wouldn't get in trouble for spilling his drink on his work.<p>

They weren't sure about the last one, but it was worth a short. Downstairs, they had found the living room cleared of people as the nations had gone off to search for answers already. Hungary was tapping her feet impatiently and suspiciously out of breath, and Austria was busy reading something, apparently sheet music. Estonia wasn't sure, but he swore he saw her look a bit disappointed _before _she flipped through their pictures.

"The last one's wrong," she pointed out before smiling a bit and waving them off. They were stumped, and sat on the staircase. Suddenly when Estonia was double checking, a small slip of paper fell out of his camera. Widening his eyes at the Hungarian's sly move, he skimmed over the paper with his partner reading over his shoulder.

Hi! You guys were working hard. We didn't think you two might win, but since you guys seem decent I'll give you one hint and no more: England seemed pretty disappointed earlier.

Lithuania thought out loud, "Mr. England? I hope he wasn't mad that I went out to buy presents with Finland…"

Estonia shook his head. "I don't think it was that. We have to think. What happened earlier?"

"The first round? All I know is that Mr. Russia hit me with his pipe, and I kinda forgot…"

His partner frowned, since he had suffered a similar fate. "After that… do you remember seeing England anywhere?"

He offered, "Well, he popped back in the kitchen when Mr. China and Ms. Hungary were fighting."

Estonia racked his head. _Think! You have to think! What did England do after he went in?_

Lithuania continued, not noticing his companion's stress, "And he made his scones, so they both got scared and left the game."

His friend rushed out of the room and so the brunet hurriedly followed, not knowing what had struck him.

The Estonian was looking warily at the cabinet where the trash can was in, as if contemplating whether or not to open in. Lithuania asked in comprehension, "It's Mr. England's scones, right? He worked hard though it wasn't really good and was thrown away."

It was received with a nod. Bravely, the Lithuanian covered his nose and pulled the door open. There was a terrible smell, but Estonia quickly took a picture and they ran for it. Panting, they ran up to Hungary who was looking a little too excited.

Flipping through their pictures, she nodded and exclaimed, "Yes! You two found them all!"

They shared a high-five when suddenly Japan appeared from a corner, scribbling in a notebook. "I've collected the data so far. And from my notes, it seems that Russia-san and Belarus-san were the only ones who did not find any pictures so far because of… violence going on between both parties." He extended a hand out and smiled. "Congratulations, Estonia-san and Lithuania-san."

They cheered, and both were happy when they were able to tell Russia to not bother them for a day… and Lithuania tried to ask Belarus out on a date but his fingers got broken. Again.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Estonia was wide-eyed while taking a more careful look at the pictures he'd taken and uploaded onto his laptop.<p>

Picture 2:

December 13, 20xx

Gilbert got me plastic poinsettias this day! Well, he said that he tried to get real ones but he accidentally forgot to water them on the way here and they died. It's a wonder how he even takes care of Gilbird. Though maybe it's a good thing, since if he got real ones then Kumakichi might have eaten them…

December 14, 20xx

It's the 15th day of his advent calendar gifting, and this one is really nice! Though I don't really need it, it's the thought that counts. It's a new picture frame, one with yellow chicks all around the edge. Maybe I could take a picture with him sometime and put it in there to celebrate.

December 15, 20xx

I think I'm starting to act like a hormonal teenage girl… he actually took a picture with me! I'm making sure to put the picture on my case. I think I'm starting to

The page cut off then, and Estonia was curious yet appalled at what might have come next. He was thanking his luck that he had already put the diary back where it belonged and wouldn't have the temptation to read on.

Checking the picture of the picture, he saw it was the exact same frame described in the diary, and there was a picture of the albino nation grinning while almost choking the blond. When he checked the picture of the refrigerator, there were… little yellow chick magnets everywhere on it.

He was thankful the last two pictures were random things that Hungary's odd mind managed to cook up, since he felt he was treading into forbidden territory by looking through these. Estonia was starting to doubt her sanity already.

Oh well. He turned from his computer screen and decided to throw away both the cameras, since Lithuania did not want his. It would be best if no one else saw those.

Estonia did not realize that Hungary was giggling somewhere nearby and flipping through the very diary he thought he put back.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** There goes my really bad take at this. xD Oh well, I really just wanted to do this though the poem was crap. I needed people who weren't batshit insane or evil to win, and they had to be low-profile for them to sneak around a bit.

Yes, Hungary had coerced Prussia and Canada into helping her dress up and kidnap Romano.

Yes, she thought England trying to cook was cute despite the outcome.

Yes, she does have copies of the pictures mentioned and had been reading Canada's diary. XD

I don't know how they got a picture of the inside of a trashcan but meh.

Anyway, see you next time, so review and bring more randomness!


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